Monday, January 20, 2014

Obama: Lizard King or Beelzebub?

Apparently, 4% of people in the USA believe that lizard people in disguise are running the country, and that Barack Obama is the Lizard King. At least according to a survey reported by the UK’s International Business Times (http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/polling-theory-embarrassment-453096). But that can’t be right, because Obama is actually the devil or the anti-Christ (13%). There is quite a YouTube campaign out there ‘proving’ that Obama is the anti-Christ. There is one video which takes great delight in demonstrating that he is Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, by showing us press conferences during which Obama brushes away flies; and even shows us an image of Obama with a fly on his forehead. So the case is absolutely conclusive. Clearly he is not the Lizard King; if he were, he would be eating those flies. Those who claim he is the Lizard King rather than Beelzebub are clearly misguided, if not evil themselves.

There is one particularly useful video that shows quite clearly that Obama wants people to serve Satan. I think it is a video of Obama accepting the Democratic nomination. During that speech he says, ‘Let me express…’ He pauses, then says again, ‘Let me express…’ Apparently, when you play this backwards, Obama is saying ‘Serve Satan’. Isn’t that amazing! He says it twice for emphasis. I would like to thank whoever put up this particular video, because without his help I would never have known that I had to serve Satan. The message would have been lost. I’m sure Satan is very grateful too that this person has helped to spread his message.

On a slightly more serious note. How many hours of Obama’s speeches did this person have to listen to, backwards, before he found this particular message? I’m so grateful that he didn’t waste his time trying to alleviate poverty, bring care to the sick, and freedom to the oppressed, like that guy, what was his name? Oh yeah, Jesus.

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